The Suspense Is Killing Me

It has been announced again by our employer, that we WILL be paid THIS coming Tuesday. Whew! Finally!! What a relief!!!

NOT!

Because, you see, after all these weeks of the CEO crying wolf, we have grown indifferent of all the broken promises. Irreparable damage has been dealt, especially to the morale of the company's personnel, and some of us have decided to jump ship and look for greener and more stable pastures.

Not only that, some of us have damaged the trust we have tried to maintain with the people we owe money from.

Just take into account my own tribulation these past six weeks: I now owe the cellphone company two months worth of bills and managed to have my line temporarily cut off. I owe overdue rent for the room I'm renting, and also some significant amount of money to a colleague I had taken out a loan from, last October. And I've been practically living in the office premises for this past week.

I have yet to pay for some items at eBay which I had won LAST MONTH, and for this, my Feedback Rating is now in danger of being given several non-paying bidder strikes which will mar the otherwise flawless Rating that I have tried to maintain for the past sixteen months.

So once we get the money, most of it will only go to our payables. Just like an outdoor breeze briefly grazing one's skin.

On the (somewhat) good side, being broke for the past one and a half month taught me a lesson as well. It has taught me to cast off my attachment to the material side of life. It gave me the courage to downsize my growing action figure collection, to only the figures that I really like. It has taught me to let go of the excess, and keep those that are really dear to me.

But then again, I had to sell even some of the ones I like that were really hard to find -- those that had me spending time and money hunting for.

So it's back to square one with the hunt, and I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Distractions, Distractions

As mentioned in my previous post, we have not been paid at work for more than a month now. And this has been both a major inconvenience and a source of distraction, day in and day out.

I've experienced a couple of Holiday Seasons without a job, but this is an entirely different situation. It is more difficult when one is expecting something to come in and it doesn't, than when one isn't expecting anything arriving at all. Unlike some of you who might be reading this, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I do not have a trust fund nor a multi-million dollar inheritance. Nor am I an overpaid executive in some large corporation.

It has become tedious, to try to explain to the people I owe money from, that my paycheck has been moved to yet another week. Day in, and day out. Not everybody can be as understanding and considerate as I am, when somebody owes me some money. Bills and payables have started to pile up.

Looking for another job isn't as easy as it may seem to some of you. Because, in this country (guess where I am?), you need money to earn money. How else am I going to travel around the metro to show up for a job interview, if I don't have any money to take me anywhere in the first place? And if I do ever land on a new job, it's this silly "tradition" in the local employment industry that a new employee has to wait for one month before he can receive his first paycheck.

One month? So where do I get the money to feed me, house me, and get me to work and back home everyday, for an entire month? Isn't this why I was looking for a new job in the first place - for the money?

So I am stuck here in this dead-end job, along with my colleagues who are as broke as I am now.

And so, to fend for my everyday expenses, I have been selling my action figure collections on eBay. Yes, the same ones I have worked hard for and traveled around just to look for. The same ones that had me staying glued to the computer monitor, trying to snipe them at eBay. And I am selling them cheap, just so they could be converted to much-needed cash quickly. Shit. I'm selling my collections at a loss.

One step forward, two steps back.

When will this nightmare ever end?

2008

Time flies so fast, another year has come. I never realized I haven't been posting for some time now. New Year's resolutions? None, frankly. Because it seems that the more I set goals, the higher the chances that I won't be achieving any of them.

I've become too preoccupied with eBay. That, and more than a half-dozen or so action figure forums I joined during the last half of 2007. I've gotten myself hooked with action figure collecting once again, after dumping my Mini4WD hobby last year.

Collections can get expensive, but quite rewarding. Especially the hunt for those hard-to-find "hot" items and variants. And so while I am at work, I also have another internet browser open besides my already-busy Mozilla with 30+ tabs simultaneously open (for work purposes) just so I can monitor what's being posted up on eBay.

And then there's the action figure collectors' forums I've joined. Most of the time I just read all the silliness that gets posted up or contribute some knowledge or helpful information to those who are in need, and learn some as well. Sometimes I even post my items up for sale. But for all the haggling and no-shows I've encountered in the forums, I've decided to keep my selling strictly at the 'Bay.

Ahhhh... eBay. All was well until our paychecks at work started to get delayed. And as of this posting, we haven't been paid our salary for the whole month of December, plus the remainder of our 13th month bonus and 5 days' worth of unused vacation leave.

What makes things worse, is that I am currently stuck with 6 eBay auction items that I have won last month which have yet to be paid. All because of my employer's promises that our money will arrive "next week". The next thing we know, "next week" has now been more than a month, and our payables have started to pile up. Rent's overdue, and so is my cellphone bill (my line got cut off yesterday). And the 6 eBay items I have yet to pay for? My account is in danger of being given several simultaneous non-paying bidder strikes.

So much for that 100% positive feedback rating that I've worked so hard for, since September 2006.

What a way to end 2007.

What a way to start 2008.

Still Here...

Today marks the first month since that fateful Friday afternoon where I almost met my Maker. 19 October 2007, at around 1:25PM PST (GMT +8), an explosion shook one of the Philippines' premier shopping malls, killing about a dozen innocent civilians and injuring 112 more.

I had included in my itinerary a day before, that I was to go to the bank before lunchtime to inquire why the hell my new debit card did not seem to be working. And, after that, I was supposed to go to that very same mall which eventually blew up, to have my lunch and then check out any new items that would strike my interest.

The night before, I set my mobile phone's alarm at 10:30AM, but for some reason I only shut it off when it activated. I went back to sleep a few hours more, even though I was no longer feeling sleepy. I was also fully aware that I had to haul my lazy ass to the bank before it closes for the day, or end up stuck with a non-functioning debit card until Monday.

But something was trying to tell me that I should take my time that day, and not be in a hurry to go somewhere or do anything. When I finally gathered the energy to pull myself out of the bed, it was already 12:35PM.

I took a slow, lazy shower, and finished at around 1:15PM. I was getting myself dressed when I heard a soft "thud", at around 1:25PM. I initially thought that somebody from the unit upstairs must have dropped a heavy object onto the concrete floor.

Still not in a hurry one bit, I left for the bank at 1:45 and was surprised how there was already a traffic jam on the major thoroughfare by that time. When I got off the jeepney (I only commute), I saw ambulances and fire trucks rushing towards the direction of the mall. Could be a fire or an accident somewhere, so I thought to myself. As I approached the bank, I noticed that its shutters were already partly lowered even though it was around 50 minutes before their scheduled closing time. I hurried in and was the bank's very last customer for the day.

As I was patiently waiting for my debit card issues to be resolved, that was when I got to hear what had "happened". There was an explosion at the mall, so said some of the bank's employees who had just come back in after some Halloween decor shopping. The mall was closing down early because of the explosion which, the employees said, originated from a Chinese restaurant in that mall. Gas explosion, they theorized.

So right after they finally fixed my debit card I went to a smaller shopping center, which was located near the place where I rent, instead.

It was only when I got to the office later that night that I learned the extent of the damage, by watching the evening news on television. I thought to myself, this wasn't just an "LPG explosion" -- I have seen the damage an LPG explosion had done to a restaurant 18 years ago. This one was way larger.

And the explosion did not happen inside a restaurant, unlike the news that had been circulating earlier when I was still inside the bank.

Ground zero was located right where I usually pass through, every time I go to that mall:



It sent a shiver right down my spine. I could have been right there, if I had forced myself to get up and out of bed when the alarm rang.

Was it luck, or was it something else? A friend told me it was providence. But whatever one might think of what it really is, I can only say that it was a close call for me.

Up until now the authorities have not been clear as to what really caused that explosion. Is the public deliberately being misled by certain powerful individuals? Are we all being lied to; being given the runaround? Innocent people got hurt - and several died - that day. No self-serving, power-hungry reason can ever justify the loss of innocent lives.

May God rest the souls of the innocent, and eternally torture those who are responsible. No, wait - God does not do that. May the Devil always hound those who are responsible and make their existence as miserable as can be.

First Post for November

And hopefully, this won't be the last post this month. :) I seem to always get sidetracked with all the things I have to do at work. Though browsing while on duty is still allowed, I spend most of my surfing time nowadays searching for good deals at eBay, trying to snipe some good items at the very last minute and selling some items as well.

Looking back at my younger years, the 31st of October and November 1st were always something I would look forward to. Halloween was kind of a fun day for me and my childhood best buddy, Patrick. We weren't planning to go trick-or-treating in the evening, but more of creating mischief in the neighborhood by trying to scare those who were actually trick-or-treating. Or give them the creeps at the very least.

We would always be dressed up as ninjas - which was our favorite costume back then - and we'd try to sneak into and through the neighbors' lots as much as possible, without getting detected by the homeowner. Or their pets. If we were to do the same thing at our age nowadays, I think it would already be trespassing and we'd most likely get our asses arrested and charged.

And on the morning of November 1, me and my "family" (long and different story, those quotation marks) would go to my grandma's grave at the memorial park. A couple of times, best buddy Patrick was also there to join us. We'd put up a tarpaulin tent early and spend the rest of the day there. It was pretty much like a picnic, and also served as some sort of a "pre-Christmas reunion" for me and my relatives. It was fun way back then, though I don't know now. Is it just me, or is the sun hotter today than it was during my younger days? Must be all the pollutants mankind has dumped into this sorry planet that's wreaking havoc with the environment.

Times have definitely changed, and I spent Halloween and November 1st this year - and last year, and the years before that - at work. Patrick now lives at the southern end of the country with his very own family, I've moved to a rented room near the business district (I still haven't a family of my own), and we're both too old to be roaming around the neighborhood dressed as ninjas. I also lost my patience to wade through a mass of living human flesh at the memorial park and yes, I do think the sun has gotten much hotter than it used to.

And when the day was over , we'd be heading home and my thoughts would then be on...

December!